Can I get my 2 hours back?

Hey, there's a movie that appeared on Sci-fi  this past weekend.  Oh wait.. it's SyFy...  Sorry about that.  thought it was the science fiction channel.  The movie was called Dungeons and Dragons:  Book of Vile darkness.

I DVD'rd the movie and watched over the past two nights.   I want my money back.  My two hours.  Harsh?  Nah.  Let me synopsis it for you:

The movie's plot involves a book.  A book of vile darkness, forged ages ago and it wreaked havoc in the lands until it was sundered into three parts.  One apart was destroyed, the other two hidden away.  This was thousands of years ago and now the parts are being found and put back together by a "mind flayer".

Now that sounds good.  It's got a plot, it's got a mind flayer.  Want to know what one looks like?

That's a Mind Flayer.  it only talks in your mind, the tentacles on his head are used to probe your skull and suck out your brain.  He's pure evil.   This movie is going to be sooooo awesome!   especially with that for the big bad guy.

The movie starts out decent enough, telling the history of the book to set the plot line.   it even shows a human paladin/knight of Pelor that has lost his way.   Wait.. Pelor?   WOW.  sweet.  We've got a god that is mentioned that is the god of sun, etc. etc.    Nice.

The ceremony involving new knights is interesting.   I can forgive the idea that it happens at night. I mean it is a SUN god.    Perhaps the ceremony will light the area when he's chosen.  Night would be perfect for that.  However... the Knights of Pelor are all wearing dark, black armor.  Um...  Sun god?  brightly colored clothing and armor?  Riiight..

Ok, so this is about D&D and you can have artistic license   I go with it.   The knights are decimated by a rampaging barbarian horde.  Humans...  not Orcs, Goblins, or other monsters.  Humans.   Budget constraints.

The party is formed when the wayward knight goes in search of his father who was taken by the barbarians. He joins the party at the assistance of a whore.  Yea, a lady of the night.   Sure.  he's wayward, it's ok.  He's abandoned Pelor because Pelor abandoned him.

The part consists of the fallen Pelor guy, an assassin that wears banded mail, or some other type of heavy armor that an assassin wound't really wear, but it looks cool and he's evil.  Also in the party is the leader, a which, aka sorceress..  A odd tall blue-skinned guy.  Not sure what he was supposed to be.  Doesn't ring any D&D race bells in my head.   AND the dark foreboding vermin lord guy.

Party is good... except the blue guy.  why not a dark elf?  or a dwarf?   So far, 30 minutes into the movie and it's all been humans.   Ok, so I won't bore you with details on every scene.  The special effects were cool, even if I could not figure out what spells were going off.  An hour into the movie... it's still all humans.   Um... D&D has more races that just humans.  Not a single monster of any type.  it's all humans they fight.  until the "dragon"

Hey, they've got a dragon!  It's red in color, breathes fire, insatiable apatite for humans, has two legs and walks on it's wings.  WAIT... HUH?!   Where are it's front legs?   The head's all wrong.  That is NOT  a dragon.  Closer to a wyvern or a dragon-kin even.  Not a real dragon from D&D.  not even a 4E dragon.  man that sucks.  first non-human in the movie and it's not right.

Ok, getting past that, the party razes a town.  ok, the party is evil, and the fallen pelor guy kills one party member by poison  and lets another die.  The remaining members go to retrieve the cover of the book.  All about glory and gold.  They get to a place and find a monster!  WOOT!   Um... what is it?  a small child thing.  funky face.  ok.  nice special effects, even though the power she had was to suck the fingers of anyone willing to put them in her mouth.

The creature afterwards was nice.  A glowing animated armor of a type.  Nice.  I can't remember what book that was out of but it was perfect.

Nearing the end of the movie, I await the Illithid.  The meet this guy with a gem in his head, chained to two women.  he seems to talk through them.  his mouth wired shut.   Um.... where's the Mind Flayer...  The movie ends with the fallen pelor guy rescuing his father  becoming the fodder for the new ink jar, and then for some reason, pelor's amulet reacts to him and he kills everything on the spot.   Ok, the only ones alive are the father and son, and the witch/sorceress.

Where's my Mind Flayer?!?!

Ok.  I rate this one better than the first movie, but less than the second movie.  The only thing this movie had going for it was the special effects were cool, and it had Pelor in it.  It needed more monsters, something other than Humans....